depages.blogspot.com

"I just been back home from afternoon shift work today yet not really tired lah b'cuz baru tah ni merasai menjaga pesakit seramai 14orang, selalunya yang dijaga ani ada sampai nda vacant bed lagi, panuh ward. Tapi nda tau lah ah kenapa buleh hari ni ramai yang discharge. Lagi pun jangan terluan kan nda bejaga - jaga jua tau2 lah esok gerenti panuh lgi ni balik ward hehehe... (^^,)

Well actually, I have been thinking of some thing yang bothering my mind lately... Am I so lonely kah or Am I just a loner type of person... Well wt so eva lah... pi I keep on thinking & thinking about it. Deep inside my heart... lama plang udah ni I keep this kind of feeling but nda pernah terluahkan atau pun berterus terang arah nya... b'cz I do feel afraid of loosing her later... She is my dear friend... one and only friend i have... yet the only person I have in my mind when planing want to go out or just untuk kn jalan2 saja ia tah org nya tu yg akan ku bawa... yet not only that, she is always came up in my mind in what ever situation I'm become and we did some time seeing each other and jalan2 together atu pun kalau kami nda sibuk dengan hal masing2... Aku kaja arah kesihatan beshift lagi tu... sedang kan ia bekeraja arah pendidikan kira kaja office hours lah... iatah makanya masa terluang atu nda tantu... ganya menunggu nasib masa terluang atu betamu...sama ia nada planing jua kan jalan2 sama 'cuzen' nya... (^^,)

Kadang2 takut jua ku kn kehilangannya b'coz who knows jua kan tau2 ada tia udah a guy yg berani tampil atu mengahadapi kedia berterus terang untuk mem'propose' kedia...& she do accept the proposal, then she is not single any more... Tapi mun atu kiranya sudah banar2 belaku atau akan berlaku atau pun sedang berlaku - in process lah tu maksudnya so what else i can do... nothing.. terima saja... I just doesn't want to 'fight' for it... b'coz in my point of view when I do such of thing, its shows that I am so desperate for it... yet deep inside of me, I'm not that kind of person..in any how or in any means... ~hello...~ hehehe, but if she is do still single I just wish that I've courage to say it to her and able to live together or still live as now later after... b'coz from the experiences i have, I'm doing not so good in love life yet i don't believe in 2nd chances.

As a reason at the moment I have is a typical dilemma crisis either Am i going to say it to her or not saying it to her?... Will it gonna be or not will it gonna be...?"